Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
