Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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