I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i already hear my dad disowning me
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
