...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I had to cum in my sink.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize