My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
