Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
