All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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