I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
