And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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