Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
