she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
