i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
