I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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