I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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