Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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