took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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