It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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