she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
