Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
