Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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