Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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