wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
