STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
