Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My legs feel like baby dolphins
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
