Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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