I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
