mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
