Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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