I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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