he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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