apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
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My thoughts exactly.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
