I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
