I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Randomize
