Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
