You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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