I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
