i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
