the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
