Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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