she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Congratulations! We have a period
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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