so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
