i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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