Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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