i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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