I'm laying in your front yard are you home
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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