I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize