and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
