my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
