true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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