have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
