the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
