idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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