And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
