put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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