hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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