Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
