Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
